Friday, January 31, 2014

The Ultra Fem LIKENESSES Book!

I wanted to do something to showcase all of the celebrity faces I've drawn over the years, so I created this 20-page book. It's a magazine-sized collection of 77 drawings, and it came out looking like an AWESOME coloring book! Take a look!

You can order your copy direct from!


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

DP Deals & Starlight Videos

Hey folks! It's been a good year so far, thanks to all of you and your support! Every sale helps, and I truly appreciate every one! Here's what I've got going on right now!

1) The DP Deal: I have 5 Double-Penetration slots open at $80 each!

2) Starlight vs. Blackbird: I need to sell 10 complete video sets at $30 each before I release episode 3!

3) I've opened a WISH LIST at Amazon.

4) There are ULTRA FEM ART BOOKS coming!

Thank you! And tell your friends!


Monday, January 27, 2014

Peg Bundy and her GIANT BOOBS!

A topless Peg Bundy is on everybody's list, right? RIGHT?


The Angriest Girl in Star Wars

The Angriest Girl in Star Wars by theultrafem

Camie was one of the Anchorhead teenagers cut from the original Star Wars. She was on-screen for less than one minute, and she spent that minute BOILING WITH RAGE. Koo Stark's acting spoke volumes of hate in those few precious seconds. I felt the need to provide captions for her inner voice. I CAN'T STOP WATCHING THIS.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Wendy Fiore as Mai Shiranui

I just completed this live drawing of Wendy Fiore cosplayng as Mai Shiranui, from SNK's Fatal Fury game. Clever customer!

I'm doing LIVE ART all evening! And tomorrow! Come see me!


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Ultimate Guide to UNDER GIRL

Height: 4’11”
Age: legal
Sexuality: Bi, sub

• Combat training
 • Deceptive smallness

• Human

• Unknown
Ultra Fem brought her in as a
   sidekick after the original lineup
   of the group fell apart, and she
   has declined to explain
• Rarely speaks, and never in public
• Fiercely devoted to Ultra Fem
   and vice versa 
• Sexual relationship with Ultra Fem

—Favorite Things to Put in Her Mouth—
• Candy
• Cake
• Pie
Ultra Fem

—Least Favorite Things—
• Broccoli
• Brussels sprouts
• Penis (unless Ultra Fem makes her do it)

For more Under Girl art CLICK HERE

The Ultimate Guide to CATTAIL

Height: 5’8”
Age: early 20s
Sexuality: Straight, Switch

• Intense combat training
• Weapons mastery
• High intelligence

• Human

• Solo adventurer who patterned
   herself after Night Mistress
• Became sidekick/trainee on
   invitation of The Scratch
• Generally regarded as the most
   intelligent of the group
• Unofficial historian of the group 
• Sexual relationship with Batboy

For more Cattail art CLICK HERE

Cattail art

Here's the finished Cattail art I promised a few days ago!

A bit about the character: I created her in 2005, shortly after creating the main cast of characters. I was at FetishCon for the first time that year, and I was introduced to a model named Dante Posh. I was showing off my new character designs (My art was so bad back then! Why did people put up with it?!), and when I talked to Dante, she said "I can be in it!"

I had been thinking about a black girl for the group, but I didn't have any solid ideas. Dante solved the problem for me. (If you're wondering what Dante looks like, THAT'S HER up there!)

Has it been 9 years?? Wow.

I'll post an Ultimate Guide for Cattail later tonight.


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Big Girl vs. the Monster

When I started this drawing, I didn't intend for it to be Big Girl. The customer didn't ask for her specifically, but he DID ask for the a redhead giantess in a patriotic bikini. And so it became Big Girl.


Monday, January 20, 2014

Maya from Space:1999

I really pretty drawing I did in the live show tonight. Just really pretty!


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Vanessa Kensington - NUDE

I did this Austin Powers drawing of a naked, busty Elizabeth Hurley during last night's live show. It's already proven to be quite popular.


Friday, January 17, 2014

A. I. is a terrible movie

After drawing Gigolo Jane for a customer the other day, a character from the movie “AI,” I got curious about the movie, so I downloaded a torrent. I avoided the movie when it was in theaters (2001), because I never saw anything that made it look interesting, and I know from experience that Spielberg makes terrible movies.

So I watched the torrent. OH MY GOD, WHAT AN AWFUL MOVIE. This is seriously one of the worst movies I’ve ever suffered through. Ill-conceived, poorly executed, deadly dull in all of its interminable 2-and-a-half hours. Just AWFUL from beginning to end. I was never once entertained, and I never for any instant cared what happened. (Roger Ebert loved it. Go figure.)

The first scene is so uninspired and boring, just so flat and dreary, it was all I could do to keep my finger off the stop button. The scene actually ended with the mad inventor referencing Genesis. THE BIBLE. Spielberg, you uninspired boob!

Gigolo Joe, played by Jude Law, is a waste of a character. He has no reason to be there. Nothing interesting or surprising or NECESSARY ever happens to him. What little hint of a story he brings with him is never resolved. And Jane? She passes Joe in the street and says hello. THAT’S IT.

Every moment of this movie screams at us that Spielberg is trying to be Kubrick, and he fails. Long, painful silences, the thing Kubrick was so good at, the thing he could do with STYLE… you ain’t got it, Steve! And Kubrick didn’t need a NARRATOR, either. Filmmakers who know how to tell a story don’t need narration. Spielberg has to explain everything to us, because he can’t tell a story with film.

It’s not just the stylistic direction, I also have problems with the very concept. You have a robot that’s “programmed to love?” It’s creeping you out? There’s an easy fix for that. TURN IT OFF! Call tech support to come pick it up! Jesus, you idiots, I’m supposed to feel SORRY for you? I’m supposed to feel ANYTHING for you??

And then there’s the end of the movie. I found myself saying out loud, “What is this bullshit?” No really, it was SO HOPELESSLY STUPID.

And what was that freaky sequence of unexplained visuals in the scene-before-last? Did he actually see duplicates of himself? Did he really talk to his inventor? Was any of that supposed to be real? Once again, Kubrick could get away with that surreal shit. BUT THIS WASN’T KUBRICK.

Seriously, the whole Pinocchio thing has been done, done and done. You want to see a story about an unloved robot? It’s called Astroboy. As clumsy as it is, episode 1 tells the same story in less than 30 minutes, and they did it 40 years earlier. (With a catchy theme song. Another thing AI doesn’t have.)


Thursday, January 16, 2014

Mary Ann

I drew this for a customer today, which by sad coincidence is the day The Professor passed away. RiP Russell Johnson. This is for you.


Cattail - a sketch

Fans of Ultra Fem will be aware of Cattail! New art for her has been long overdue. She's one of my favorite creations, but I've rarely had a reason or opportunity to talk about her. COLOR ART & ULTIMATE GUIDE COMING SOON!

(Speaking of sidekicks: UNDER GIRL ULTIMATE GUIDE is on its way!)


Rule 34

Hey folks, I'd rather you not post my art on Rule34. I get zero traffic and zero business from that site, so it doesn't help me. You are certainly welcome to post any drawings which you commissioned, but please, limit yourself to that. If you've posted any that are NOT your commissions, I'd appreciate it if you'd take them down. Thank you.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Double-Penetration commission deal!

This week, I’m opening up a new DOUBLE PENETRATION commission deal for your female OC! $80 will get you a full-color drawing of your favorite girl taking on two hard cocks. Only 10 available. Contact me to reserve yours!


Monday, January 6, 2014


Yes, it's LUM of Urusei Yatsura! I drew her last week for a customer! The pose came from Alisa Farrington!


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Cattleya nude! Popular drawing!

I've always wanted to draw Cattleya, the super-busty MILF from Queen's Blade. Finally had the opportunity last weekend. This is what you miss when you don't come to my live streams!

In other news: 2014 is off to swell start! Possums in the walls at midnight. I can still hear them. It'll be tomorrow before I can call the exterminator. First tweet of the year, I had to tell a libertarian racist to fuck off. Ever notice how racists insist YOU'RE the racist? Dentist tomorrow. Jury duty next week. Just wow.